The past month, I started a new chapter in my life, which hopefully paves a way to a place where I belong. I’m in this perpetual life journey seeking ways to fulfill my desires. My biggest desire is to work without anticipating for a weekend or vacation… work where I can feel like I’m truly contributing to something, anything…. work that I feel so passionate about where work doesn’t even feel like working. I covet work that solely belongs to me only, a place where I could escape to, a second home that brings the best out of me, a life where I could enjoy every second, every single day. Is this naïve for me to think that this is even possible? Well, it’s my quest to find out if it’s possible.
I’m in this start of my career where I continuously question myself if this is where I belong. A competitive environment where the most intelligent, outspoken, ambitious, dexterous human beings are present, a continuous battle to prove yourself that you are better in all areas. It’s just mentally tiring, as I’m not as intelligent, assertive, ambitious human being as the rest of the group. My professional goal was never to earn tons of money or be on top of the hierarchy (which might be a huge disappointment for a Chinese), but my goal was to find a career where I had a sense that I contributed, a working environment where we support each other for a bigger cause.
Right now, I feel like I’m not able to survive this business world, however The Universe provided this huge opportunity for me to learn something out of it, which I’m truly grateful for. So I have to make the best out of it and just have the faith that this is the road I need to take for my quest. I just have that never ending internal fear if things will work out in the future… if I would be oke? Somehow, deep down inside, I already know the answer……………..that everything will be oke if I continue to belief it.
Today’s working station =)